chemo day 1… continued

Let’s start with the good news, the news we all need. Bone biopsy came back negative!!! It has not metastasized anywhere, my boobs and lymphs is where it be. I will do a whole post on staging, but I’m leaving it there for now.

About last night…

A few hours after infusion I started to feel tingles from the chest up radiating all down my arms. After a quick call to my oncologist on our way to the ER we went. The A to my AC chemo is a big bad beast. It actually has a given number you can take your whole life (don’t freak, my protocol puts it at about half). It can do damage to your heart so they take extra precautions, so simply put my doc said your 34, we’re not taking any chances. Gordo had my hospital going chariot ready in no time. And talk about the right person to take along with you on an ER trip. He had the whole staff laughing with his jokes, antics, machine button pushing, and other “bananas weird” doings my incredible father does best. Those that know him, love him. Understatement of the century…

After an “abnormal” EKG they had us officially held hostage for the night. We did a parent swap and Mom came to slumber. The tingles had then spread to my legs. They had me all hopped up on steroids, so no sleep for the weary. So, we spent the night chatting and giggling how the chair she was supposed to “sleep” in kept chomping her up like a crocodile because she didn’t weigh enough to keep it down. I’ll chalk this up to another silver lining of all this. Sweet time together.

The morning left me starving and us all wanting answers. They had thrown out a bunch of tests they were maybe going to do, so they had me on saline only/no food or drink bs regimen. After chatting with the docs and nurses and confirming my symptoms were totally gone, my cardiac enzymes came back negative, and further investigating the EKG they decided they were tired of my ass. I have been known to rip off wires, take off blood pressure cuffs, and throw full sass when they blast the lights on at 2:30am for a blood draw. So sorry–F off!

So, what do we know: My system is sensitive and it just got an ass ton of big bad drugs. The EKG showed signs of the right ventricle being damaged, which is way less of a big deal than the left. There are three scenarios of this. 1. It was pre-existing. Since I didn’t do an EKG before chemo, only an echo we will never know. 2. The medicine damaged it and it will get better. 3. The medicine damaged it and it won’t get better, and that’s ok–nothing to freak about. They will keep a close eye on me during my last three rounds of AC and if I wind up there again will do more aggressive cardiac tests.

I got to come home about 3:00pm today. Now off to bed, Santa has a busy couple days coming up!


when they tell you to get comfy, you ain’t going nowhere…what do you do? take a selfie, duh!

chemo day 1

Garrett and I woke up this morning encouraged and ready to finally start this leg of our journey. Each person you see and link eyes with in the infusion room has the same story, different chapters. Each person looks at you the same–one part I’m with you, one part why you. A question that has rolled around my brain for weeks….But we don’t get to know that answer, only what we choose to do with what we know.

Chemo overall was way better than I could have imagined. The couple things I had been warned of: port entry pain and bad taste when pushing in the meds, both proved to be no biggie for me. I’m all hopped up on a ton of drugs and steroids to combat the side effects, so should be smooth sailing till day 3,4,5.

I sat next to a 33 year old mama to a 18 month old, found the lump while breastfeeding, spread to her lymph nodes….same story, same pain. She’s well on her way to being done with chemo and that was encouraging to see.

We should get results from the shark tooth, I mean bone biopsy, in 5-7 days. They looooove to drag shit out we have learned. What we thought was a bone marrow biopsy was actually a bone biopsy. When I was all drunk after the procedure they showed me the chunk, yes chunk, of bone they took out of my arm and I told the doc it looked like a shark tooth. To which everyone in the OR thought was hilarious. Final staging will come from this. So yes, that’s where we are sending ALL our love, vibes, prayers, mystical magic sparkle powder dust–whatever you got, for a negative result.

I think I already look green. It’s my new holiday look!


the cancer curing cocktail
best part of chemo day: eat shit every two hours

waiting game…

The last three weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. It’s hard to even know what day it is. We have spent the last two weeks finding out everything we possibly can about what we are up against and it’s still not over. After a week of meeting doctors here in Austin, Garrett and I went to MD Anderson in Houston to get the opinions of the cancer experts. We are so happy to report that they have the same plan. We are still in the discovery phase, which everyone who has walked this road before says is the hardest. I am scheduled to have a bone biopsy on Monday (12/19), which is the last key piece to my puzzle and diagnosis.
The facts, what we do know: My cancer is a bitch. And my bitch I will make it. It is super invasive, aggressive and fast growing. Which my husband will chime in and say, that’s how I roll. Always gotta out do everyone else. Even my fast multiplying cells agree.
Our plan: radical chemo for 5 months, double mastectomy, 6 weeks daily radiation (which we will move to Houston for) and hormone/low dose chemo therapy for 10 years post. Everything they got, I get.
I had my power port surgically implanted last Thursday so we are all set to start chemo on Tuesday (12/20). I will have 16 treatments. Please join me in counting down that number. Didn’t quite make it to my old (famous?) softball jersey number (17) and I am just fine with that!
Please keep the love pouring in. To us ALL.
And for all those wondering about #accentforernie:
My precious friends have started a show of support for muah….something as it seems I am just going to have to get used to. Join us in painting a “accent nail” (guys your welcome too, many already have) to keep that sparkle alive. Use it as a worry stone, look at it and think of me, and check out the hashtag and all the sparkle that people have been spreading. Those of you that have known me the longest, know I am most likely always to be seen with such nail and I have an affinity for sparkle. ie. who painted their nails in the bus on the way to softball games
Keep checking back. I promise to keep it up now that it is set up.
strength, tribe and sparkle #accentforernie